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A sentiment I hope most of us share
I was raised in New England, where you're always a short drive from the beauty of the ocean. My family struggled due to my dad's addiction causing constant financial instability. I never had the opportunities that other kids did, but at least nature was always free. I spent my summers building tree forts, camping in the backyard, trudging through the woods, drinking from creeks, and sneaking onto our town beach by kayak to avoid paying the entry fee. I fell in love with the sun on my face, bounding full speed over logs and rocks, birds soaring overhead, and the smell of salt water mingling with cool forest air. I started telling my mom that I wanted to be a biologist for the federal government when I was 8 years old. It made sense in my young brain - I loved people, and I loved nature. I was the first in my family to attend college, and I focused my attention on building the most competitive federal resume I could. My full time job in my field, dozens of unpaid internships, extra course hours, research presentations, and academic grit paid off when I recieved a full ride to graduate school. My master's studies only further prepared me for a career as a public land manager, garnering me a plethora of research experience, a novel thesis project with my own publication, and a path forward as a Recreation Ecologist. Somehow, I was selected as the first Presidential Management Fellow from my land-grant university and I started my career with the USFS. You know when you put on a new pair of jeans and they fit beautifully right out of the store? They accentuate your best features and make you feel like a million bucks, to the point where you want to wear those pants every day. That's what my career has felt like so far. The sense of fulfillment I get from my job is immeasurable - Putting on my uniform and representing the USFS is everything 8-year old me ever wished for. I'm now working on my dream forest managing one of the busiest recreation programs in the country. My passion has been rekindled daily as I interface with our partners and the public, observe the balance between recreation and conservation, and count the blessings for our tourism-based community. Then came January 20th, 2025. My entire outlook on life has changed. I am devastated that the American people have elected an individual that cheers for the dismantling of public services and relishes in the destruction of public lands. You're telling me that the majority of the public I devoted my entire academic career to actually wanted this? Putting on the uniform has become an unsettling act...I question if I'll retain the right to wear it by the end of each day. My exchanges with the public have turned from informational and gratuitous to scared and angry. I repress rather than express at the direction of our leadership, receiving complaints and disappointment hundreds of times per day with no resolutions to share with our constituents. I'm called unproductive, lazy, and wasteful. Both large-scale projects and day-to-day work have become almost impossible, with more cuts to staff and resources still looming. How am I to comfort my employees through so much uncertainty? It's become difficult to drive to the office each day knowing that I can't serve the public in the way they deserve, and my mandated silence is only stoking the fire. Even if I am able to keep my job, the agency I love and my once fulfilling work will never look the same. I hold the line with some hope that my childhood dream will one day be recognizable again, but my inner pessimist awakes in the early hours of the morning, adamantly telling me otherwise. I'm still here, I still love people and love nature. Please tell me there are others who feel the same.
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