Back

Remember when Sony came out with the Discman and they were like hey remember all the things you love about the Walkman? Well now you can have all of that but with CDs! Yeah, all shiny like cyber rainbows from the future, and now you can take em with you! And we know what you're thinking, but relax, we've got you covered. This baby's got anti-skip technology, so you can go skateboarding, ride a bus, stand in a stiff wind—no problem! You just can't clip it to your belt. And it's too wide to fit in your pocket so don't even try. That would void the warranty anyway. And don't even think about trying to wedge it in your waistband. The way you kids are these days with your baggy jeans, there's no way that's gonna work. But don't even sweat it, you can just hold it! No of course it doesn't fit comfortably in your hand, it has to be larger than a CD, but don't worry about it! Everyone's gonna think you look really cool just holding onto it, wherever you go, preferably completely level and horizontal, taking one hand completely out of commission until you can find a place to safely set it down. Just hold onto it, kid. It's not that hard. People are gonna respect you for it. You might lose your balance occasionally, but just learn to roll toward your free hand. You can do it, champ. Just think of it like one of your stupid skateboard tricks. You're gonna look so cool.