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Paula GordonMy mom completes her 98th year on this earth on Monday. (Pretty sure she'll make it.) Her aides are showing their appreciation and love. SR is the first with flowers (and a gift card for me, even, an hour-long massage 😭) <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/caregiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#caregiving</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/appreciation" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#appreciation</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/hospice" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#hospice</a>

Paula GordonBreakfast: Protein drink with a side of morphine My mom went on hospice a few days ago. So much going on around her and she is still a peaceful presence. So far I'm fine. Just don't look me in the eyes and ask how I'm doing. <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/caregivers" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#caregivers</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/EndOfLife" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#EndOfLife</a> <a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/caregivers" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@caregivers</a>

Paula GordonI hear my mom coughing, investigate. No she didn't swallow the wrong way. She's got two projects, and one is going fine, the other not so much. I ask if these are intellectual projects -- "No" -- physical projects? "Yes." Can you explain? "Well, I have to take..." she points, her index finger peeking out from under the covers, then stops, at a loss for words, and starts laughing. She's not out of the <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/hallucination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#hallucination</a>, just amused at not being able to explain. <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/caregiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#caregiving</a>

Paula GordonShe seemed relieved when I said it was OK. When I said I'd be leaving, she insisted on escorting me out. (She has not stood up on her own much less walked, in 4-5 months.) I asked if she'd like something to drink before I left and she said, super politely, "Well, I don't want to... impose..." The whole time, her demeanor was so sincere, so kind. I wonder how many times she had that conversation in her youth. She was smart, beautiful and independent. 2/2 <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Mom" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mom</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Hallucination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Hallucination</a>?

Paula GordonI was walking past my mom's room, peering in to make sure of her breathing. She opened her eyes, so I went in to say good night. I took her hand, said something like, I didn't realize you were awake, and she kind of stuttered out an apology, saying she had made a promise to another, and would like to ask... I waited, not sure where this was going. A promise? She said she would like it if we could be... friends. She looked concerned that I might be hurt. 1/2 <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/SleepTalking" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#SleepTalking</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a>

Paula GordonMom's quite talkative tonight, cheerful, hallucinating a bit. A selection: I have to give these back so I can stand up and make myself available for... If I have to be at the door, I have to be there at the same time someone else is there... The stuff that was over there on this side... It's easier to want something else than it is to get something else that you can get with... all this stuff around here. It's not complicated, it's just... unusual. <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/caregiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#caregiving</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/hallucination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#hallucination</a>

Paula GordonI resist posting images of my mom, but these are too heartwarming not to share. One of our aides does animal rescue and is fostering sibling kittens. This one is 5 weeks old in the photos and has visited twice already. (She might be a foster fail and a future therapy cat.) <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Caturday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Caturday</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Caregiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Caregiving</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Joy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Joy</a>

Paula GordonOne of her first jobs as a high school student was helping people register to vote in her hometown of Atlanta. She doesn't remember anything of her past now, but previously said she was 17. That would have been in 1944. Eighty years ago! <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/SheVoted" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#SheVoted</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/VoteBlue2024" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#VoteBlue2024</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Mom" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mom</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/LifelongDemocrat" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LifelongDemocrat</a> 3/3

Paula GordonAfter she'd made her selections, I told her all the firsts who would be elected if her choices won, and she was impressed. First Black woman president, first Black woman senator from Delaware (each attribute alone will be a first), first transgender congressional rep from any state. Second Jewish governor of Delaware (classic reaction: really what's his name? she was a Hebrew school teacher, and seemed to know everyone back in the day). 2/3 <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/SheVoted" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#SheVoted</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/VoteBlue2024" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#VoteBlue2024</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Mom" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mom</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a>

Paula GordonSo proud of my mom, who voted by absentee ballot tonight, with my assist. I knew she wouldn't know any names but TFG (the odious), so I read her the office and gave her the choice of parties, and she chose the Democrat every time. It was exhausting to her, I could see her struggle to keep focus on the question, but even when I tested her, "So you want the Republican for this one?" She corrected me emphatically: "Democrat!" <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/VoteBlue2024" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#VoteBlue2024</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/SheVoted" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#SheVoted</a> 1/2

Paula GordonSo here's my Mom, 97 yrs old, memory of personal history gone, can't even name her parents or place of birth. And yet, when I ask what she wants dessert "to be... or not to be..." she responds with a laugh, "*That* is the question!" The brain is a wondrous muscle. Hey, writing this just now makes me wonder if that's the answer: muscle memory <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/MemoryLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MemoryLoss</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/caregiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#caregiving</a> <a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/caregivers" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@caregivers</a>

JdeB<a href="https://climatejustice.social/tags/USpolitics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#USpolitics</a> <a href="https://climatejustice.social/tags/CrowdSize" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#CrowdSize</a> [7]Oh no... no more on crowdsizes ! It's getting <a href="https://climatejustice.social/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a>…. <a href="https://climatejustice.social/tags/OldOldMab" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOldMab</a>"BIGGEST CROWDS 🤩" [ < 1 min] by The Tony Michaels Podcast<a href="https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xU2NIE9Lp_Y" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xU2NIE9Lp_Y</a> <a href="https://climatejustice.social/tags/VoteBlue" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#VoteBlue</a> <a href="https://climatejustice.social/tags/UpAndDownTheBallot" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#UpAndDownTheBallot</a> <a href="https://climatejustice.social/tags/ImWithHer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ImWithHer</a>

Paula GordonFor the first time I'm just sitting here next to Mom, holding her hand while she sleeps. After supper when I asked if she was comfortable she said no. On questioning, it came out that she's sad. But no explanation. Does she know she's old, in bed forever more, 100% dependent on others? Does she miss anything, anyone? <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/caregiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#caregiving</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/ElderCare" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ElderCare</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/BeHereNow" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#BeHereNow</a>

Paula GordonMy mom just hallucinated a spam/phishing phpne call, took me 20 minutes to get her to "hang up." (Still so polite.) More later. <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/hallucination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#hallucination</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/caregiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#caregiving</a>

Paula GordonSometimes, just... no idea whatsoever for supper. Tonight Mom declined all the usual. When I asked for suggestions, she said, "Something light." "Popcorn?" "Sure." Ofc, by the time I brought it to her, she'd completely fogotten. But she's eating it. Plus honey-roasted pnuts (faux-Crackerjack for listening to Phillies on the radio). Even got her to eat a slice of cheese (what I call plastic cheese, individually wrapped). <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/ElderCare" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ElderCare</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Nutrition" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Nutrition</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/FingerFood" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FingerFood</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/BallparkFood" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#BallparkFood</a>

Paula GordonHappy Passover, Chag Pesach Sameach, to those who celebrate. This year again, just me and Mom (97), by choice. But this year I had to lead, and decide alone what to read and which language. But she did great. It seems after leading so many model seders at AKSE, not to mention decades of family seders, the Hebrew words and tunes survive loss of functional memory and loss of vision. Still, we only did an abbreviated first half. <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Pesach" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Pesach</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Passover" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Passover</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/SenseMemory" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#SenseMemory</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/Mazeldon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Mazeldon</a>

Paula GordonHow my mom eats pizza. Hooray that she sill eats pizza! (I cut it in strips with a kitchen scissors before reheating.) <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/pizza" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#pizza</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/FingerFood" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FingerFood</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/KitchenScissors" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#KitchenScissors</a>

Paula GordonMy mother spends most of the time in bed and requires careful padding to prevent pressure sores and to keep her comfortable. Tonight as I was getting her ready for bed, I joked that tucking her in is an exact science. And that makes me a Master Mother Tucker. She may have lost all sense of herself, but she still has a sense of humor. I told her if she needed anything during the night, just call for the Mother Tucker and I'd come running. 😂 <a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/caregivers" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@caregivers</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/ElderCare" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ElderCare</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/WordPlay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WordPlay</a>

Paula GordonConfirmed this morning that my mom doesn't remember my dad, or being married generally, it seems. I had an inkling b/c she never asks about him, whereas she sometimes asks if her mother or brother is still alive. Never her husband. She asked whether she had always lived in this house and I said no, you lived in Atlanta until you got married., then you moved to Delaware. And she asks, and who did I marry? 1/2<a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/stroke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#stroke</a>, <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/dementia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#dementia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/ElderCare" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ElderCare</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/OldOld" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OldOld</a> <a href="https://mastodon.sdf.org/tags/MemoryLoss" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MemoryLoss</a> <a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/caregivers" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@caregivers</a>

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