Watching Erin Reed's reel about her mom's recent passing deeply resonated with me. She mentioned how she learned to be a mom thanks to her own mother.
This made me reflect on my own upbringing. My dad was strict, and while he played with me a lot, he never told me, "I love you." I feared him on his bad days—quick to anger, yelling, and physical punishment made him unpredictable.
In contrast, my mom was almost always sweet and caring. Though she also had moments of anger and physical punishment, it was less frequent than my dad's.
After transitioning, I found it challenging to adopt the term "mom." My therapist reminded me that bearing a child isn't a requirement to be called one. I raise, love, listen, fight for, and am emotionally available to mine.
Reflecting on my "mothering" skills, I realize how much I’ve learned from my mom, sans the physical punishment. I could have taken the path my dad did, passing on generational trauma. Instead, I chose to reflect my mom's nurturing side, blending it with my wife's and my own approach.
Today, we have a beautiful human being who is caring, empathetic, expressive, and has a real voice in our home. I'm grateful for choosing my mom's way, not my dad's.
