Amber<p>*sigh* tonight really could be going better for me. Headspace starting to tank, not entirely because of the job info I got today (which really sucks, but tbh, was slightly expected, and only a matter of time). </p><p>Suddenly feeling shitty about my appearance and dysphoric over it. Probably not being helped by my lack of estrogen in a year, due to doctors office dicking me around, and then my insurance getting shut off, and now no possible chance of getting back to work, and getting my insurance back. </p><p>On top of that, the permanent loss of that insurance, which also would of covered all the transition related care/surgeries I needed as well, which... was more encompassing than most insurance coverage as well. I just... *sigh* I don't know wtf to do at this point.</p><p>The weirdest part... The thing that triggered the dysphoria, was Catherine Zeta-Jones' character in Oceans Twelve (Isabel Lahiri), and like, the part that god me at first, was her outfits, but then... her nose. Her fucking nose of all god damn things! </p><p>I don't know... I'm just... maybe it's just compounding and making me feel especially worse tonight cause of everything.</p><p><a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/trans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>trans</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/dysphoria" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dysphoria</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/lifesucks" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>lifesucks</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/fuckthisnoise" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>fuckthisnoise</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/fuckthatnoise" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>fuckthatnoise</span></a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/fuckmylife" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>fuckmylife</span></a></p>